Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
