They should really pass out barf bags in church
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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