she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize