Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
