Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
