like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
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Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
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I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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