she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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