I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
