i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
