The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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