She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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