And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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