I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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