sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
