I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
