Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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