I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
