New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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