Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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