Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
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Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize