He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
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