All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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