Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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