sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My balls are so social today.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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