tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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