But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
