I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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