I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
