Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
