Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
