so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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