If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
