problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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