Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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