he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
