Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
