u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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