bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
COCAINE IS GR8
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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