Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
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