Christians are straight up FREAKS
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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