Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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