im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
you made out with another girl for some wings
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
wow bdsm is so cute
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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