Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
there was a trapeze. enough said
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
