I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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