The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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