Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
