If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
