I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
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I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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