I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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