on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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