why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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