i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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