So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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