Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
