I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
