i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
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I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
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I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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