And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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