Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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